So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
