Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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