would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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