I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
