No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
