Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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