my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize