Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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