u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
