dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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