so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
