at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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