Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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