scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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