I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
