Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
