I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
At least life still wants to fuck me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
