I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
should my penis look like a turkey
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize