Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
