i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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