I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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