You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
