I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Randomize