More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
