In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
