This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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