Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need a beard to bite.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
