so explain again why im purple
no
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
