dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize