And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
