genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
