I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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