Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
