I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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