I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
