He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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