And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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