Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
