I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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