just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
