so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
