He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
