He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He felt like a one man threesome
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
