told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
