You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
