At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
