You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
