it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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