Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
