Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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