Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
