I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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