You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
