Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
