Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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