sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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