I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
